Is it gonna end today?

My playlist for the day : The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo, Wuthering Heights & The Good Guy

I started out my day with a very heavy drama with a Swedish  film. It is a suspense thriller with a very dark ingredient. I had to pause it a couple of times just to breathe. If you want a Sydney Sheldon kind of plot, this is what you have to grab. If i get the courage i will watch the next 2 addition from the author Stieg Larsson The Girl who kicked the Hornet's nest & The Who Played with Fire. It's said that the author never forgave himself for not being able to help a girl from being raped which he witnessed in his teens.

Next up was Wuthering Heights, felt like how fairy tales should have been in my childhood. If only Disney didnt mess up and made us believe of Prince Charming, Im sure the world will be a better place. This shows prejudice, malice, broken promises and revenge. The reality of life. Catherine grew up with a gypsy boy Headcliff that her father adopted as a kid. Fallen in love with him but later on met Linton a rich nobleman, prim and proper, well versed and well mannered compared to the dashing, passionate and extremely wild gypsy boy. Catherine chose the good guy, you break your heart either way so why do it in dirt?

The last one for the day is The Good Guy. A New York story of a WallStreet guy and a gallery girl. I loved it when the guy said that "dating feels like a warzone" because it is! He comes out to be very normal and sweet and caring, very busy with work, wants to help out a neophyte. He comes up with this Tuscan Themed date out of Manhattan. pulled out an ipod and danced under the moonlinght. Prince Charming? No, this is what you learn especially in LA. Men would make you believe differently but you shouldn't be stupid enough to think that while he ran back to the restaurant because he left his credit card on the table, he was already able to grab another girl's number. Every single minute that he is out of your sight is a monumental possibility that he is already building an army of women auditioning for your part. Yes Sleeping beauty where was this Prince the whole hundred years you were sleeping? And do you Cinderella really think that while he was making the other girls try on the shoe was he not taking their numbers? 

Enough of the sexist remarks. This is a battlefield and as a soldier of it, my dilemma is having to wake up everyday asking..."is this gonna end today?" or would it actually work somehow? Who would know? I just wish it is that easy to resign from my post. Just drop it and walk away, but it seems like all I can do is gather up my strength drop my sword, say i quit and a week after, I'm back in the battle, without a helmet and still waking up with the same thought. -Mai

im not in the mood anymore, but you are.

location: potong pasir.

mood: secretive.. a little apprehensive

tunes: always with me, always with you (satriani)

what my friend told me a few months ago came rushing back to me today. it all started with a message i received from the ex of a good friend of mine. it was an apology. he was saying sorry to us (being good friends with the love of his life and all) for hurting our friend and asking for our help. He intends to propose after telling her that he was unsure of their relationship just a month ago. now, all of a sudden, he has decided that she is the one for him. she is the one girl that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. two questions came to mind that i did not dare ask him...

1. Would he have realized that had he not decided to consider dating other girls? would he have come to the same conclusion if they were not apart? (silver lining: the problem that came between them actually caused them to be closer and more in love, provided that both parties still wanted in)

2. does my friend still want to be with you after all the pain you have caused her?

i think the second questions is the more important one. after hurting someone so bad, is it ever possible to have them come back to you with the same amount of love and trust? and why is it that when the girls says they dont want to anymore, thats when they guy comes crawling, begging back to us?- Pam

out of the blue or know that its coming?

setting: chair in my room 

song (or noise/movie): love happens 

mood: curious 

is it better to know, to be aware that someone you love is going to die soon or would you rather be caught of guard? 

so you're on this amazing date with the guy of your dreams, all was perfect. you were enchanted and so was he. you genuinely laughed at his jokes cause they were good. he touched your cheeks so gently cause he wanted to know if they could really feel as soft as they looked. you had extra dessert just so you can spend time, that extra few minutes with each other. you know this is it. you feel it in your gut, in the bottom of your heart... it beats crazy. walking towards his car, his hand brushes yours and there it is... the spark. this is the guy you wanna hold hands with. you love him and you know he loves you back. 

a truck driver falls asleep on the wheel and ends whatever dream you had with him. 

the love of your life is in the hospital. he was just diagnosed with a terminally ill disease. you are with him every minute you can possible spare just to make sure that you dont miss a minute. you want to be there for him during this rough patch but the doctors tell you that there is nothing else they can do for him. You trust their experience what they say but at the same time, you hold on to the hope that miracles do happen. you trust that they happen. he fell in love with you didnt he? that right there is proof that miracles exist. you're holding on to that and the possibility of a miracle happening for you. you need him to continue to exist. you're the love of his life. a few months later, after countless doctors tell you that this day was coming, its still more devastating than you can ever imagine. 

is there a "better"? Pam

lessons from across the Pacific

In the philippines, girls have more game than guys. Say what you will, but its true.

Mai tells me that in LA, it appears that guys have more game than girls. Does your success in stringing date after date in the other side of the world have anything to do with the fact that you were born and raised here? i think so =D

Im sorry to say this but, hardly any of the guys have strong game here. Rare is the Filipino who will just ask you out in person. They dont even get your number straight from you. They'll send you a text, and ask you out, arrange a group "thing" ( think Ted Mosby throwing that party for a casual met up with Robin to keep things casual), or even attempt to develop a friendship with you via text or chat first before actually gathering up the courage to ask you out upfrount (months before you even get there). All this is reason enough for girls to think we have game here. Its cause we know we make you nervous.

Every now and then, one will catch us by surprise. Im not talking about a guy asking for my number. Its just a number. Weak. But when a guy you just met, actually asks you for a date, that keeps thing interesting. Shows us you're definitely worth the extra attention. At the least, we know we will be entartained.

A lesson to the dudes in my local scene:

PLEASE! if you think the girl is attractive, and you wanna get to know her, even if you just wanna get in her pants (being honest here), dont be afraid to approach her and say hello. there girls here are polite and friendly. As long as you check your arrogance at the door, come up to us with a nice smile and good vibes, you will most probably get friendly results (provided that boyfriends are non-existent). Lines can be cute and effective but all at your own risk. No cliches.

You have nothing to lose. The worst that can  happen is you get a no. Really.. is that so bad? You didnt know her anway. - PAM